Until this day, I still cannot imagine seeing my dad in the condition he was. Lying sick in bed, so weak that he needs someone to hold him while he walk, finding it difficult to breathe. In my mind he was always a healthy man, always exercising, controlling his diet and he doesnt smoke or drink so it really gave me a shock seeing him like this. It was just six months ago when the doctor diagnosed dad with stomach cancer. We were all shock but dad, ever the calm person in our family, told us not to panic. He just said that we will fight this together as a family and we will overcome it. All we can do at that time was to nod our head meekly and agree with him.

After enduring months of painful radiation and cocktails of drugs, dad was left a mere shadow of the man he used to be. The treatment had prematurely aged and weakened him, if that wasnt enough the doctor announced that the treatments were ineffective and dads condition had deteriorated, the cancer had spread to his liver. This was the straw that broke the camels back for my dear mother. She lost her composure and broke down in tears, we all did except for dad. He never flinched, as cool as a cucumber just another hurdle in his way. Dad seemed more concerned about us than himself.

One day, when I was watching television in dads hospital room, he asked me if I can do him a favor. I said yes and what does he want. You remember the personalized photo mugs you gave me, the one with the picture we took during your graduation? Can you bring it here? he said. Suddenly I remember the mug, but I never knew that he gave so much thought about it. So after looking through the closet where he said he kept it, I finally saw it again. The white porcelain mug, with our photo and the words Thanks Dad! under it. Suddenly, I thought back to the day we took the picture.

It was right after the end of my graduation ceremony for my undergraduate degree. We were standing around talking when mum said dad and I should take one picture together since me and mum took one earlier. So we stood together, with the awkward smiles and tried to look as natural as we can. Its seldom that we took photographs together even during family trips or holidays because it was either me or dad taking those photographs so we didnt really took photographs together until now. Till now mum still tease us saying how weird our expressions were that day. But, I can see that dad was really happy for me for finishing my studies, and I felt glad that dad finally has something to be proud of because of me.  Few days later I was walking in our local mall when I saw this booth offering to print pictures on mugs and key chains and all sorts of other stuffs such as personalized baptism photo mugs and so on. I think it was a spur of the moment when I thought of getting one of those photo mugs for dad would be cool, so I got one done with the graduation picture printed on it.

As I arrived home that night, dad was watching his usual television programs. I simply walked up to him and handed him the mug saying abruptly it was a present for him, with a somewhat bewildered look on his face he accepted my gift and muttered some thanks. I though he would simply put it away, but later that night I spotted him smiling bemusedly to himself as he looked at the picture on the mug. I knew then that he was happy with his personalized photo mug gift, the first gift that I had truly given to him as a son to a father.

As I passed the personalized reunion mug to dad in the hospital ward a feeling of dj vu overcame me as dad flashed a smile as held the mug, the exact smile he was sporting as I saw him fingering the mug that night so many years ago. Dad looked at me and began to speak Son. Of all the things in life, of all my triumphs, accomplishments and all my awards and trophies. There are only two things that matter, one is that I met your mom and two is that we raised you up to be a fine young man. The day you graduated I knew we had done a good job...Im proud of you soon and always will be. I couldnt stop the tears even if I wanted to so I just stood there like an idiot and smiled and dad smiled back at me. I knew that we were saying goodbye to each other.

My father ultimately loss the battle with cancer a fortnight later but he won the war. The stars dimmed just a little and the world spun just a little slower the day he sailed away on that golden winged ship. A part of me died that day but I know that a part of him still lives in me. I have kept the mug safely in the closet where he kept it safely out of harms way, it makes me sad and happy to look at it now like bittersweet chocolate. Dad may have been proud of me as a son, but I am even prouder to have had such a father as him.